30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 11


Today’s Topic/Question: What would I tell my future self?

Day 11!!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

Maaaannnnnn….OK. So I guess it depends on where I am in life in the future…LOL But we gonna be positive and assume I am where I wanna be or on the right track to get there. I guess the first thing I would say is YOU DESERVE THIS!! I think sometimes we get to place of peace or happiness we start questioning, do I deserve this? Wether it’s a form of Love or Success, or whatever. YES!! I do! This is actually something hard for me to understand at times. I would also say, keeping going! To me we are always growing & learning. If you stop either one of those you become stagnant. And that is not something I want. Since I crave adventure and excitement I know this is something I will still be doing and seeking. I mean I may be a little more tamed but…still need to level of mystery going.

Also I would say, don’t forget to reach back. Bring others (that you trust) with you. I always want to keep in mind that YES, I want a level of success, but I also want that for my friends and the people that I love. And if I get there before them I have the means to help them in there goal (not financially…let’s not get carried away here), but maybe now I have access to a world they didn’t, I can now reach back and bring them with me and expose them to maybe things they needed but didn’t know how to reach them. SHARE the knowledge is what I am saying.

I don’t know what else I would say. Stay Strong. Stay Focused. Remember Take time for yourself when you need it.

That’s honestly all I can think of at the moment…What are somethings you’d tell your future self? Leave them down below so I can read them and get some more ideas!!

Day Eleven Down!!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 9


Today’s Topic/Question: What do I need less of in my life?

Day Nine!!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

SOOOOOO…this might come off like a little bit of a rant…but I mean a journal is a release right?? What I need less of in my life? Let’s start with this, Inconsistency. It’s the Inconsistent men for me! I feel like we end up in these dating scenes and there’s always this whoever I want doesn’t want me and whoever wants me I don’t want them…LOL Or if we want each other the timing is just off! Like what in the world? Are we just made to settle for whoever loves us more than we love them? Is that a relationship? I guess I can’t settle into that mentality, which at times make me feel like am I just meant to be in the single world life. IDK, I felt like I met someone who is EVERYTHING I was looking for, then life happened to them, and I guess what we had going on got push to the back burner. Which his life circumstance, is definitely UNDERSTANDABLE. But I was kinda looking forward to having someone I can talk to again, hang out with again, someone can I call when I was lonely, someone I can cuddle with, someone when I am sick I can call to be there for me…you know…those types of things. But I’ll be patient for now, but at the end of the day, we all have our needs/wants. And I don’t mean sexually, I just me a sense of intimacy. But I understand his situation completely, so he has little rope.

I also need less stress. But I don’t really know how to avoid that! I feel like right now it’ll stressful to some capacity. I mean more Money wold help with my stress which I am working on soo, stay tuned.

The funny thing is I don’t keep a lot of what I don’t need in my life. If I feel like a something is draining, I usually just cut it out of my life. Like I can say negativity, drama, etc. But I cut those out usually as soon as it becomes too much. The only reason these 2 are on my list, is because they are either something I can’t control, or something I can understand. Again everything gets a LITTLE rope but we all have our boiling points.

I really wanna talk about what I need more of…LOL Maybe I’ll save that for tomorrow or a future post…LOL

What do you need less of in your life?

Day Nine Down!!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 8


Today’s Topic/Question: What are your weaknesses?

Day Eight!!

I’m going to hop right into this one. No disclaimer needed since it is just a list…I’m late on my post, but I’m here!!!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

My weaknesses!! Muscles & Cute Smiles!!! HAHA! Just Joking, kinda! I have a lot! I’m just going to try and stick to like two cause we can be here all day.

The first one that comes to mind is I feel like I am weak for people who need healing…does that make sense? I feel like the empath in me always attracts people who have there shit together, then something happens in their life that may be traumatic/dramatic and I feel the need to stay and see them through it. Not saying that is a totally bad thing, but it usually end with them exiting my life, making me then feel used until they are “better.” I am cautious of who I do it to now, but it’s like those thing happen AFTER I’ve already built some kind of connection to them. So now I feel a sense of obligation.

The second one I can think if is my ability to SAVE! Jesus fix it!! LOL Like I feel like I am not able to EVER save for anything!! Like when I buy things it’s not because I saved for it, it’s because I had the money at the time I thought about it…Like I wish I was just able to have a savings in general. Like for emergencies, I watch all these videos about saving and I am like ALL last one of my dollars is accounted for and being used for something…So HOW? People always say live below your means, shit I mean unless I am living in my car or walking to work IDK how much lower I can go…LOL This can’t be real life! Like I said in one of my previously posts. I a would love to reach a place of financial independence, but I just haven’t figured out the right formula for MY situation.

What are your weaknesses?

Day Eight Down!!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 5


Today’s Topic/Question: What is one thing you want to approve about yourself? Why?

Day Five!!!

You know the deal!! DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. I am keeping everything RAW here! Thank you!

To start, I would like to improve on my financial independence. I’m not awful with money. But I feel like I can always be better at managing my money better. My goal is to have less financial stress. I feel like everytime I reach a certain level of some sort of financial comfort, something in my life just goes in disarray, so my goal is the become financially prepared for the “disarray.”

I like talking to different people & just listening how not only how they spend money, also how they pay bills, how they save, investments they are in. It gives me in sight and just teaches me. Especially when listening to someone who is in a different working class as me. It is quite inspiring and motivates me.

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 4


Today’s Topic/Question: My Top 5 Favorite Quotes

Day Four!!!

Before we start, you know the deal!! DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. I am keeping everything RAW here! Ok, Thank you! But for this is shouldn’t be that hard.

To be transparent I only picked this topic for today because I am kind of short on time and I know this is one i’ll be able to produce quickly.

My top 5 quotes are a mixture of Love & Life quotes. Some stem from Movies/TV/Media, some are from just people I know personally, some are just ones came up with along this walk of life.

  • “BE YOU!!” Always something I live by. Be Yourself, people will Love you for who you are, and if not, they aren’t meant to be in your life. And THAT TOO is OK. Who you are is enough for the right people.
  • “I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” ~ Carrie, Sex in the City. I mean this in a nut shell is Me. Like I can’t say it better myself. If you can do a day without communicating w/ me…then you can go the rest of your life. And you are not for me.
  • “Be the Rainbow is someone else’s cloud.” ~ Maya Angelou. Sometimes I feel like this quote is a blessing to that person and can drain you if you are doing for for wrong people. Usually, being there for someone for me means just listening sometimes and that’s all the need. Not allowing them to dwell on the negative at least while they are with you (or talking to you). It’s nice to have someone who you can talk to that’ll bring your day up. But also be able to recognize some people will take advantage of that and use you. So you also have to be cautious who you do those things for. Cause it will drain you and leave you feeling hurt.
  • “The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.” IDK where I heard this from or who to credit…LOL but I posted this on my Instagram the other day (@TotalDivaRea). But I think this quote is self explanatory. If you find you are happier in a relationship, find someone (who is FOR YOU) and be in that. If you find your are happiest being alone, then don’t feel forced to be in a commitment, because that what society says you should be doing. Happiness is determined by how YOU feel not how other’s think you should feel. Remember that, EVERYTHING IS NOT FOR EVERYONE, and there’s not one way map for life. What’s fulfilling for one, may not be fulfilling for you.
  • “Never stop learning, because life never stops teaching.”Um, yea. Just when you think you know it all, life will hit you like a ton of bricks and just like that your studying life again.

I can go on and on with quotes I love, but those are the one that came to kind at the moment because of what’s going in my life right now I think.

What are some of your favorite quotes? List them in the comments below!

Day FOUR DOWN!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 3


Today’s Topic/Question: How am I feeling right now?

Day Three!!!

Before we start though, Disclaimer ALERT!! DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. I am keeping everything RAW here! Ok, Thank you!

I’m going to hop right in on this one because as a Cancer…My moods can change in 2.5seconds, so hopefully by the end of this blog it’ll be the same! This will actually probably be a quick one b/c it’s a simple question, so simple answer.

Since I writing this in the AM I actually woke up in a good mood. But I also have a lot on my mind. Which I guess if I can put an actual emotion to what I feel…I would say anxious & motivated. I spent most of my evening editing a video for my channel. So waking up I felt super motivated to continue focusing on my businesses. Anxious, well because I guess I’m looking forward to what the future may hold me me and the people in my life. Relationships & Friendships. I Also woke this morning, feeling like I need to make an adjustment to what time I go to bed and to put my DND on a little earlier.

So yea that’s how I feel today (as of 9:30AM)…Motivated & Anxious!

How are you guys feeling RIGHT NOW??

DAY THREE DOWN!!!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 2


Today’s Topic/Question: What am I afraid of?

Day two!!!

So today’s question is something I’ve been asked a few times since I’ve started dating. Not something I’ve actually thought about on my own prior to someone asking me.

Now I before I begin, I feel like I need to do this disclaimer every post, DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. I am keeping everything RAW here! Ok, Thank you!

The first time someone asked me, I said failure. And that still holds True. I am afraid of failure. Now failure holds different to everyone. For me it means starting something and not finishing it or it not reaching the success I feel I/it deserves. That includes failures in different walks of life. For me mainly in my business, not reaching the goal of Self-Employment/Entrepreneurship. That is a big part of my hustle! YouTube, being a Makeup Artist & running my Online Store (AND ALL of those are linked BTW, just click on them! Shameless Plug!! 🙂 IDC…LOL). There are a bunch of other passions I have, i.e., photography, (pretty much I am a creative). ONE OF THESE NEED TO happen!! What’s your plan B you ask? I feel like a lot of people ask entrepreneurs this. Now don’t get me wrong I HAVE a FT job, but I make sure I keep the end goal at the forefront of my mind. Sometimes I get caught up in the Job that I have to wheel myself back in and say to myself, “HEY HEY, this is JUST to finance my DREAM…Re-FOCUS!” I actually talk to a guy who is also an entrepreneur but has a really good FT job. It seems like sometimes we are in the same boat at different times. We get comfortable making the money we make at our jobs, and almost let our end goals fall to the background. So I know there is work I need to do and I am committed to that process. So my Plan B, is to continue focusing on my Plan A!

I feel like as soon as you feel like you failed…them BOOM!!! You’ve made it! So that’s the energy I try to keep and speak into existence.

Another thing I fear & I didn’t think about until some said it to me and them I realized, HEY! I fear that too. And that is my child dying before me. And that is something I don’t even want to think about, but in this world & being Black in this world…Well you guys know how that goes…I not going to sit here and dwell on this fear b/c…I just can’t even begin to imagine…BUT, It is something to fear and worry about. As much as we don’t want to as parents.

What Do you fear??

Day Two Down!!!!