Today’s Topic/Question: What do I need more of in my life?
So going into day one, I am going to write this as if I would my actual private journal. I want this to be as raw as possible. So don’t grammar check me in the comments section! I said I was going to be as open as I can (while still maintaining some sense of privacy, depending on the context of the question). But overall, I am an open book and lucky for you guys it helps that I am single so I really don’t have to worry about protecting a “partner’s” privacy as well.
But today’s question is something I’ve actually thought about over the past 2-3 years in general, which ultimately once I understood what exactly I needed, the answer to this question aided me in ending my previous relationship.
What do I need more in life?
Love, Money, Support, Spontaneity!! (And in that order)
Simple answer right? Oh y’all wanted an explanation? LOL I got you…
Love, So let me be more specific. I have Love in my life, friends, family & you guys! But what I mean by love I mean a romantic love. Now, I have been enjoying being single, but I’ll never sit here and say I don’t enjoy relationships and who I am in them. I also understand if/when that happens for me again, It’ll be the last time I’ll commit. I got one more good relationship in me…After that…Who knows. But I think I’ve reached a place of Self-Love, Self-Worth and spent the last 2 years Self-Reflecting, where I know I am ready for that when the opportunity presence itself again. We are always working on ourselves and meeting new people can show you more of what you want out of life, so I understand that I may not just FALL right into another relationship, but I am open to learning and growing with someone.
Money, I mean does this really need an explanation? More Money TO ME means, one less stressor. And that’s on that. Granted having more money will bring on a different stressor, but I think I’ve out grown the latter, like ok, I get it I know what it like to live paycheck to paycheck, what’s next?
Support, I mean now I have a GREAT support system right now. Thank GOODNESS for my mother! My Nia is spending the next year in St. Croix and that is amazing!! And I am beyond thankful & grateful!! She getting the RED JELLO for real (inside joke amongst my parents!) Support with my business someone who understands what I need to get done and who will push me and encourage me, obviously I can encourage myself, and my friends as well, but it’s nothing like having that one person in your corner cheering you on. Also If I think long term or into the near future, Nia will be back…LOL and as a single mother, sometimes things get so crazy you will definitely lose track of taking care of you. It gets tough and it’s nothing like having that person. I didn’t go through postpartum depression, but I feel like I may have gone through depression in general when she was around 2, being overwhelmed and unhappy. So having an intact support system is not only something I want more of, but I think it is necessary for my mental health in the long run.
Spontaneity, THIS!!! This is just something I crave!! It not something I get often! AT ALL. I think it is just something I need. Not all the time, but just a lot more of. Wether is a random last minute date or a random weekend getaway…JUST LOVE a good surprise and spontaneous behavior at times, especially since I am baby free so it’s more realistic right now!
Now at the end of the day, happiness is not by seeking more, but to learn to enjoy less, so that when you do get more, you appreciate it more. So I’ve learned to just enjoy what I have (right now), but keeping in mind what there is something greater. What is for me will be for me and when it’s my time I’ll just make sure I stay ready so I can accept that!! I am sure my opinion of that statement may change and what I want will change, but for now…Not sure If I answered this correctly, but those are the things that came to mine.
What can you think of that you want more out of life?
DAY ONE DOWN!!!!