I’m going to hop right into this one. No disclaimer needed since it is just a list…I’m late on my post, but I’m here!!!
Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.
My weaknesses!! Muscles & Cute Smiles!!! HAHA! Just Joking, kinda! I have a lot! I’m just going to try and stick to like two cause we can be here all day.
The first one that comes to mind is I feel like I am weak for people who need healing…does that make sense? I feel like the empath in me always attracts people who have there shit together, then something happens in their life that may be traumatic/dramatic and I feel the need to stay and see them through it. Not saying that is a totally bad thing, but it usually end with them exiting my life, making me then feel used until they are “better.” I am cautious of who I do it to now, but it’s like those thing happen AFTER I’ve already built some kind of connection to them. So now I feel a sense of obligation.
The second one I can think if is my ability to SAVE! Jesus fix it!! LOL Like I feel like I am not able to EVER save for anything!! Like when I buy things it’s not because I saved for it, it’s because I had the money at the time I thought about it…Like I wish I was just able to have a savings in general. Like for emergencies, I watch all these videos about saving and I am like ALL last one of my dollars is accounted for and being used for something…So HOW? People always say live below your means, shit I mean unless I am living in my car or walking to work IDK how much lower I can go…LOL This can’t be real life! Like I said in one of my previously posts. I a would love to reach a place of financial independence, but I just haven’t figured out the right formula for MY situation.
Before we start, you know the deal!! DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. I am keeping everything RAW here! Ok, Thank you! But for this is shouldn’t be that hard.
To be transparent I only picked this topic for today because I am kind of short on time and I know this is one i’ll be able to produce quickly.
My top 5 quotes are a mixture of Love & Life quotes. Some stem from Movies/TV/Media, some are from just people I know personally, some are just ones came up with along this walk of life.
“BE YOU!!” Always something I live by. Be Yourself, people will Love you for who you are, and if not, they aren’t meant to be in your life. And THAT TOO is OK. Who you are is enough for the right people.
“I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” ~ Carrie, Sex in the City. I mean this in a nut shell is Me. Like I can’t say it better myself. If you can do a day without communicating w/ me…then you can go the rest of your life. And you are not for me.
“Be the Rainbow is someone else’s cloud.” ~ Maya Angelou. Sometimes I feel like this quote is a blessing to that person and can drain you if you are doing for for wrong people. Usually, being there for someone for me means just listening sometimes and that’s all the need. Not allowing them to dwell on the negative at least while they are with you (or talking to you). It’s nice to have someone who you can talk to that’ll bring your day up. But also be able to recognize some people will take advantage of that and use you. So you also have to be cautious who you do those things for. Cause it will drain you and leave you feeling hurt.
“The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.” IDK where I heard this from or who to credit…LOL but I posted this on my Instagram the other day (@TotalDivaRea). But I think this quote is self explanatory. If you find you are happier in a relationship, find someone (who is FOR YOU) and be in that. If you find your are happiest being alone, then don’t feel forced to be in a commitment, because that what society says you should be doing. Happiness is determined by how YOU feel not how other’s think you should feel. Remember that, EVERYTHING IS NOT FOR EVERYONE, and there’s not one way map for life. What’s fulfilling for one, may not be fulfilling for you.
“Never stop learning, because life never stops teaching.”Um, yea. Just when you think you know it all, life will hit you like a ton of bricks and just like that your studying life again.
I can go on and on with quotes I love, but those are the one that came to kind at the moment because of what’s going in my life right now I think.
What are some of your favorite quotes? List them in the comments below!
Today’s Topic/Question: How am I feeling right now?
Before we start though, Disclaimer ALERT!! DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. I am keeping everything RAW here! Ok, Thank you!
I’m going to hop right in on this one because as a Cancer…My moods can change in 2.5seconds, so hopefully by the end of this blog it’ll be the same! This will actually probably be a quick one b/c it’s a simple question, so simple answer.
Since I writing this in the AM I actually woke up in a good mood. But I also have a lot on my mind. Which I guess if I can put an actual emotion to what I feel…I would say anxious & motivated. I spent most of my evening editing a video for my channel. So waking up I felt super motivated to continue focusing on my businesses. Anxious, well because I guess I’m looking forward to what the future may hold me me and the people in my life. Relationships & Friendships. I Also woke this morning, feeling like I need to make an adjustment to what time I go to bed and to put my DND on a little earlier.
So yea that’s how I feel today (as of 9:30AM)…Motivated & Anxious!
So today’s question is something I’ve been asked a few times since I’ve started dating. Not something I’ve actually thought about on my own prior to someone asking me.
Now I before I begin, I feel like I need to do this disclaimer every post, DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. I am keeping everything RAW here! Ok, Thank you!
The first time someone asked me, I said failure. And that still holds True. I am afraid of failure. Now failure holds different to everyone. For me it means starting something and not finishing it or it not reaching the success I feel I/it deserves. That includes failures in different walks of life. For me mainly in my business, not reaching the goal of Self-Employment/Entrepreneurship. That is a big part of my hustle! YouTube, being a Makeup Artist & running my Online Store (AND ALL of those are linked BTW, just click on them! Shameless Plug!! 🙂 IDC…LOL). There are a bunch of other passions I have, i.e., photography, (pretty much I am a creative). ONE OF THESE NEED TO happen!! What’s your plan B you ask? I feel like a lot of people ask entrepreneurs this. Now don’t get me wrong I HAVE a FT job, but I make sure I keep the end goal at the forefront of my mind. Sometimes I get caught up in the Job that I have to wheel myself back in and say to myself, “HEY HEY, this is JUST to finance my DREAM…Re-FOCUS!” I actually talk to a guy who is also an entrepreneur but has a really good FT job. It seems like sometimes we are in the same boat at different times. We get comfortable making the money we make at our jobs, and almost let our end goals fall to the background. So I know there is work I need to do and I am committed to that process. So my Plan B, is to continue focusing on my Plan A!
I feel like as soon as you feel like you failed…them BOOM!!! You’ve made it! So that’s the energy I try to keep and speak into existence.
Another thing I fear & I didn’t think about until some said it to me and them I realized, HEY! I fear that too. And that is my child dying before me. And that is something I don’t even want to think about, but in this world & being Black in this world…Well you guys know how that goes…I not going to sit here and dwell on this fear b/c…I just can’t even begin to imagine…BUT, It is something to fear and worry about. As much as we don’t want to as parents.
Today’s Topic/Question: What do I need more of in my life?
So going into day one, I am going to write this as if I would my actual private journal. I want this to be as raw as possible. So don’t grammar check me in the comments section! I said I was going to be as open as I can (while still maintaining some sense of privacy, depending on the context of the question). But overall, I am an open book and lucky for you guys it helps that I am single so I really don’t have to worry about protecting a “partner’s” privacy as well.
But today’s question is something I’ve actually thought about over the past 2-3 years in general, which ultimately once I understood what exactly I needed, the answer to this question aided me in ending my previous relationship.
What do I need more in life?
Love, Money, Support, Spontaneity!! (And in that order)
Simple answer right? Oh y’all wanted an explanation? LOL I got you…
Love, So let me be more specific. I have Love in my life, friends, family & you guys! But what I mean by love I mean a romantic love. Now, I have been enjoying being single, but I’ll never sit here and say I don’t enjoy relationships and who I am in them. I also understand if/when that happens for me again, It’ll be the last time I’ll commit. I got one more good relationship in me…After that…Who knows. But I think I’ve reached a place of Self-Love, Self-Worth and spent the last 2 years Self-Reflecting, where I know I am ready for that when the opportunity presence itself again. We are always working on ourselves and meeting new people can show you more of what you want out of life, so I understand that I may not just FALL right into another relationship, but I am open to learning and growing with someone.
Money, I mean does this really need an explanation? More Money TO ME means, one less stressor. And that’s on that. Granted having more money will bring on a different stressor, but I think I’ve out grown the latter, like ok, I get it I know what it like to live paycheck to paycheck, what’s next?
Support, I mean now I have a GREAT support system right now. Thank GOODNESS for my mother! My Nia is spending the next year in St. Croix and that is amazing!! And I am beyond thankful & grateful!! She getting the RED JELLO for real (inside joke amongst my parents!) Support with my business someone who understands what I need to get done and who will push me and encourage me, obviously I can encourage myself, and my friends as well, but it’s nothing like having that one person in your corner cheering you on. Also If I think long term or into the near future, Nia will be back…LOL and as a single mother, sometimes things get so crazy you will definitely lose track of taking care of you. It gets tough and it’s nothing like having that person. I didn’t go through postpartum depression, but I feel like I may have gone through depression in general when she was around 2, being overwhelmed and unhappy. So having an intact support system is not only something I want more of, but I think it is necessary for my mental health in the long run.
Spontaneity, THIS!!! This is just something I crave!! It not something I get often! AT ALL. I think it is just something I need. Not all the time, but just a lot more of. Wether is a random last minute date or a random weekend getaway…JUST LOVE a good surprise and spontaneous behavior at times, especially since I am baby free so it’s more realistic right now!
Now at the end of the day, happiness is not by seeking more, but to learn to enjoy less, so that when you do get more, you appreciate it more. So I’ve learned to just enjoy what I have (right now), but keeping in mind what there is something greater. What is for me will be for me and when it’s my time I’ll just make sure I stay ready so I can accept that!! I am sure my opinion of that statement may change and what I want will change, but for now…Not sure If I answered this correctly, but those are the things that came to mine.
What can you think of that you want more out of life?