30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 5

Today’s Topic/Question: What is one thing you want to approve about yourself? Why?

Day Five!!!

You know the deal!! DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. I am keeping everything RAW here! Thank you!

To start, I would like to improve on my financial independence. I’m not awful with money. But I feel like I can always be better at managing my money better. My goal is to have less financial stress. I feel like everytime I reach a certain level of some sort of financial comfort, something in my life just goes in disarray, so my goal is the become financially prepared for the “disarray.”

I like talking to different people & just listening how not only how they spend money, also how they pay bills, how they save, investments they are in. It gives me in sight and just teaches me. Especially when listening to someone who is in a different working class as me. It is quite inspiring and motivates me.

30-Day Blog Challange

30-Day Blog Challenge *Day 28*

If you won the lottery what would be the first thing you would do?


 The VERY FIRST thing I would do is contact an attorney and pay off ANY debt I have!! I find that to be the MOST important and smart choice to make. After that, try to restart a life debt free and comfortable. 

Relationships & Sex

More Money Please!!

What classifies a woman as a gold digger??

Does choosing the man with more money classify you as a gold digger, does choosing the man with less money mean your standards are too low??

Think about it this way, if you met 2 guys handsome, smart, funny, sensitive, caring…except…one makes about 30k, the other makes about 100k; who would you choose? In my head I’m thinking why wouldn’t I choose some who makes good money? Does this classify me as a gold digger…NO…you may ask well why not? If you prefer a man who makes 100k over a man who makes 30k, that’s’ gold digging…No it’s not and shall explain why…

No matter what you say, women are attracted to successful men…Period. It’s a turn on, it’s sexy, it show maturity and dedication. Now there is a VERY thin line between gold digging and wanting more.

Now success doesn’t ONLY mean financially successful…A woman who is real and genuine would know this…A gold digger doesn’t see it that way.

Where I find a woman to be a “gold digger” is when they PURPOSELY and ONLY seeks out men who make large amounts of money and not even hesitate to turn down a man who makes less than what she wants. They feel the need to want someone who they feel can support them. Gold diggers also tend to except a lot and they have nothing to bring to the table themselves. Gold diggers will leave you when times get rough and business may not be going so well. Some may not really care to actually spend time with you unless you’re doing something for them. And hey if that’s how you get down, more power to you. Do you!

But that’s not me. I’ve dated all types of men. The rich ones, poor ones, the, “let me hold $20 till next week.” Ones, the straight up trifling ones are stingy, selfish and needy like a woman. Now don’t get me wrong I see no problem with maybe having a standard of what you would like, especially if you’re like me and have a reason why you avoid dating men who don’t make a certain caliber of money. It doesn’t mean you right off men who are less than what you expect, but you will probably a little more cautious to do so. Like Kayne says, “I ain’t saying she a gold digger, but she ain’t messing with no broke niggga”

Bottom line, a Gold Digger wants you solely for your money. A “normal” woman wants you for you. They want to spend time with you, get to know, split the bill sometimesJ. They are willing to give just as much as you, and at times more. A real woman will see that money isn’t the only thing that makes you successful.

Relationships & Sex


How should a woman act when she makes more than her significant other w/o making him feel like less of a man?  Now, most people would say, well, just don’t tell him how much you make. Which would be quick easy and to the point…But what if you already past that stage…Sometimes you don’t need to tell someone how much you make for them to figure out that you a little more well off than them…


There’s nothing wrong with bringing home more money than you man. These days women are become more and more successful, if not more successful than men.


The problem is that I always seem to come across with this is, that I always help them when they need it, but I can never bring myself to ask them for help if I need it or if I do ask them (or when I don’t) they can’t or won’t do for me. 9 times out of 10 they aren’t going to have it and if they do have it then it’ll affect them later or maybe they are just selfish.

 Is it just wrong for a woman to help her man at all…I mean if my man needs a $100 or something, and I have it why not give it to him? But at the same time if I give it to him will he will always expect me to have it. Will it become a trend? How often is too often to ask your significant other for help?


I had someone in my past make a comment to me the, they said, “You’re never going to let me help you.” Now I don’t know how I should’ve taken that…Like, it’s not that I don’t want or need their help, but when it’s all said and done…you’re not able to help even if you really  wanted to. And quite frankly I just know when I ask for help it’s for something big and I just know it’s too much.

Which I can understand and that is fine, but is me not asking them belittling them or is me asking and him saying no, going to make him feel bad that he can’t help….it’s a sticky situation.

 I don’t want to come off to strong and too independent because I know man likes to feel needed to some extent, but if u can’t help me, u can’t help right???

It’s interesting to me that men say the love an independent woman. But if you act like you don’t need them, it’s a turn off. I guess there is such a thing called being TOO INDEPENDENT.

As a woman you don’t want to push a man away by him feeling less than you or like I don’t need him but also and you don’t want to lower your standards when it comes to your wants and/or needs…


There has to be some safe ground, where both parties are happy.


Now the easy answer would be keeping it 50/50. But let’s think about this, the money you make, the more money you spend…It’ll never be 50/50. Let’s say a woman can afford some Mr. Chou’s and you guy can only afford TGI Friday’s…should you lower your standards and go to Friday’s and bite the bullet. Now personally I love Friday’s. (Jack Daniel’s sauce is to die for), but on occasion I love dressing up and going to a nice restaurant that is out of the ordinary. I quite frankly I wouldn’t mind paying for my partner, however I don’t want to feel like I am giving more than I am receiving.  Granted a genuine person doesn’t give just to receive, but I mean really, there are some expectations when it comes to a relationship…There’s always going to be someone doing and giving more if you’re in that situation.


It’s all about compromise. Sometimes it’ll be him taking you out, sometimes you’ll be taking him out…but really if you’re in a real 50/50 situation, neither you nor the other person will even realize that you’re giving or getting more. Now if you realize that you’re giving more (which is usually because the other person is never giving and always receiving), you’re probably being used PERIOD. My advice if you make more, don’t change up your routine because you’re dealing with someone who makes less. To me if a man sees his woman doing well, it’ll encourage him to do even better. If you see him not changing or trying to grow himself, it may be time s to have a conversation. You don’t want to feel used or unappreciated in any relationship, so you need to find some common ground, even if that means setting some ground rules about your expenses. Hopefully no one’s situation ever gets to that point of setting rules, but if it does you can’t be afraid to put you foot down, because believe me, it’ll only make you unhappy.