30-Day Blog Challange

30-Day Blog Challenge *Day 7*


Somewhere you would like to visit…

I have a long list of places I would like to visit, but I stick to one for this blog for the sake of not making this blog too long.

Photo Credit: http://www.utexas.edu/
Photo Credit: http://www.utexas.edu/

YES!! I’ve always wanted to visit AFRICA!!! Purely to experience the culture. I feel like visiting a place like Africa will humble you so much and a new appreciation for the country itself. I know I woman who visits every year and she loves it. I would love to go at least once in my lifetime. The music, the heritage, the wildlife…just an experience.

Advertisements
Natural Hair

My Thoughts on Protective Styling


So started a protective style challenge back in September 2012. It was originally not on purpose, LOL, I just realized I spent the whole month of September in constant protective styles, so I decided just to continue doing so. My goal was to keep my hair in protective/low manipulation hair styles until my 2 year Naturalversary (which was April 9th, 2013).

Once I started my PSC, I was kind of bored. In the beginning all I was doing was different variations of the Marley Bun…LOL. Which don’t get me wrong I love my Marley Bun, but I just couldn’t justify doing that for the next 6 months…LOL. So eventually I stopped thinking about and just did styles as I thought of them, as you will see some examples below.
Protective StyleCollage

I did give my hair a break a day or two, here and there. Just to give my edges and nape a break as well. Also, before I decided to start my challenge, I already had a scheduled heat pass for October, for Fernando’s birthday, which I still took; at that time I blew out my hair (pictured below). Continue reading “My Thoughts on Protective Styling”

Natural Hair

My 2 Year Naturalversary! (Progression Video)


My Naturalversary was April 9th, 2013

Relationships & Sex

Realtionship Smarts


Being relationship smart doesn’t mean every relationship is going to work out. At times you will make mistakes and errors in judgment. You may end up doing stuff that is counterproductive to your own relationship success. But when you have a level of awareness about yourself and you interactions, you adapt your behavior and learn from it rather than repeating it and hoping it’ll work out without you getting uncomfortable.

Being smart at anything means that you have to get uncomfortable.”

So what do you need to be Relationship Smart you ask? Continue reading “Realtionship Smarts”

Relationships & Sex

Limited Love?? No Options??


Are you selling yourself short in dating, relationships and in life?

It always amazes me when I see women dwelling on a past relationship; sometimes YEARS after its ended. “You’re behaving like a woman who has no options”.

We as women sometimes act as if your only option is whatever guys you were seeing at the time and believe it is more important to be in a relationship and pursue this feeling of love and validation, than it was to be in a quality relationship. When you aren’t in a relationship, it may sometimes feel like you are just passing time, thirsty to fill up the “vacancy” left by the previous guy. You craved love, strongly seek out validation.

Continue reading “Limited Love?? No Options??”

Relationships & Sex

Starting & Maintaining a New Relationship


“The best way to love is to love like you have never been hurt.”

Since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner I figured I write something that is positive and inspirational for people looking for love, found a new love, or even those who are trying to keep a love burning strong. Even those this is geared towards new relationships, it can relate to everyone, no matter what kind of situation you are in.

Starting new romantic relationships can be tricky. If you’ve been single for a while before this relationship, it may be hard for you to incorporate another person in your life. It may be hard for to break habits from a past relationship that you were used to.  There are so many things that hold people back from having a successful relationship. I’ve had my share of failed relationships. Some of them were my fault, some of them weren’t. But what I can say after dating someone, I always take something out of that relationship and learn from it. They only way to really know what you want and don’t want, are through experiences. Of course we all want someone that is loyal, faithful, stable, etc. But how do you get to that point and further if you don’t even know how to begin to maintain a relationship.  Believe me I am no expert on relationships, but I pay attention and learn from my past relationships to help make my new relationships better. It takes time and it may take a couple of tries and couple of heartbreaks, but eventually you’ll get there. I know that I am there yet…But I know I am more than capable of getting there now than before. So I just want to share with you guys some things that I’ve learned and things that I feel can help you maintain a new relationship.

 

First things first, avoid game playing (or keep it to a minimum). I know we women love having a man run around and chase us a bit. But let’s be serious, they aren’t going to chase you forever and if they do, when you do stop running you’ll realize that you’ve should’ve kept running because now you landed yourself a passive aggressive man. Someone you can walk all over. Which when you are look to settle down, isn’t someone you want to be with. Playing cat and mouse is cute, but not for long. Stop for a minute and get to know the person. If you start playing games more than likely the relationship will become distorted due to manipulated outcomes, and it will end before it barely began.

 

Secondly, Lose the Ex. If there is an ex still around, get rid of them. ASAP. Having an ex in the background, screams baggage, you may not be over them, issues and just a plain out headache. Don’t allow tensions with the ex or in some cases a cozy friendship with an ex to be the detriment of your relationship. When you have an ex close by, it is easy for your partner to assume that you’re not over them, or they aren’t over you in some way. Most people keep exes around as place holders or just because it’s familiar (or both). But remember, Exes are exes for a reason, and there is no room for them in your new relationship. And if you ex is someone who you also had a child with…you NEED to make it known to them that you are in a relationship, and take a step back from doing those relationship like things that you were still doing even after yall broke up b/c you were single and comfortable. You need to make known not only verbally but also with change in action that you are in a relationship. If you don’t, they won’t take your relationship you are in seriously and leads them to believe they can disrespect your new partner and can possibly cause drama down the line. If you do date someone else when you have child, Understand that is now your job reassure the person you are with that there is nothing between you and them. And reinerate to your ex that you have seriously moved on from them.

Live your life. Just because you start dating a person, doesn’t mean you just roll over the next day and stop having your own life. Don’t fall into the “trap” of sacrificing your own life and neglecting your friends, family or even work, just because you met someone.  Having your own life and not instantly depending on your partner gives off good vides that you are independent and personally happy.

 

Make time for your relationship. People have a habit of going from one extreme to another. They either are too dependent or have this “You don’t own me attitude” *rolls neck, snaps fingers* and seek to carry on with their own lives as if the partner doesn’t exist. It is definitely possible to have a relationship, career, family and friends. It is called balance. As a relationship grows, you tend to increase the time you spend with you partner, and if you want it to progress, you need to let your partner in.

 

Try and stick to arrangements. If you said you were going to call, then call. Also don’t do standing up, or rolling up late all the time. This creates unnecessary tensions and creates insecurity. Be respectful of each other’s time. Just like you were busy doing something else, they could’ve been doing something else, instead of waiting you. Sticking to plans and arrangements, shows you have a healthy level of respect for each other.

 

Get to you know your partner, OUTSIDE of the bedroom. Having sex is great, but if you want a relationship to grow into something more and actually survive you need to be doing more than just laying up in the bed.  Spend time just hanging out, talking and building a SOLID connection. This also at the end of the day enhances sexual chemistry.

 

Acknowledge and confront any red flags immediately. When we start new relationships we tend to focus on it being new and fresh and everything always seems perfect in the beginning. But TRUST ME when I say that things you fight about (or eventually break up over) are often things that could’ve been easily found out in the early stages of the relationship, if you only had opened your eyes. Don’t be afraid to call them out on behavior that you are not comfortable with. A person that’s wants a future with you will respect how you feel. I have been guilty of this in the past, I get so blinded by everything else and then down the line I’m like, “Damn I wish I would’ve known he was like this from the beginning.” But you know what, they were, I just wasn’t paying attention. But now, in my current relationship I speak my mind freely. If I don’t like something, or I feel that certain behaviors is inappropriate or not to my liking, better believe I am letting it be known. Bottom line is if they don’t know you have a problem with something, they won’t know to change it. And if they aren’t willing to change it, its time you move on.

 

Remember the little things matter. It’s not just the big gestures, but complimenting each other, phone calls out of the blue just to say they miss you. Remembering that special thing they like to eat and surprising them with it, breakfast in bed. Just be thoughtful. Don’t always expect them you bring bells and whistles with everything; quite frankly no one has the time or money for all of that, ALL THE TIME.  So learn to appreciate the small things and learn to give a little yourself. Don’t just take. Give.

 

Be as nice as you really are. Don’t pretend to be nicer than you really are, I mean really just be yourself. Don’t try and go overboard doing things and saying yes to things, because you don’t want to lose the person, because you tire yourself and the real you will come out and they will feel bamboozled. Don’t be so much of a giver that you start to feel resentful and start focusing on who’s giving and taking in the relationship. BE YOURSELF!!

 

Put both feet forward! Relationships do not bloom with one foot out the door.  You’re either in or you’re out.

 

Leave the drama at the door. I have had my share of bad relationships, but what I have learned is to DO NOT bring that situation into a new relationship. Yes I did say learn from your past, but don’t bring that attitude you ended with from your last relationship into your new one. They haven’t even done anything. Don’t assume they are going to cheat on you because the last person did. If you spend most of your time being bitter, negative and cynical, there’s no point of you being in a relationship.

 

Those are just a few things I’ve come up with.

 

Thanks for reading!!

 

Follow Me: @TotalDivaRea

Beauty/Makeup

Mini NYX Lipstick Haul (including swatches)


So I recently purchased my first batch of NYX lipsticks. I ordered them off of a ebay, from a “well known” NYX seller PorkDaisy (link to seller at the end of post). I’ve ordered a few blushes from this seller before, which I always had a great experiences. I decided to purchase the NYX lipsticks after watching reviews and my own urge to grow my lipstick collection (after all, I am a LipGloss kinda gal J). So, I went ahead and purchase 6 NYX Round Lipsticks for $10.95 (+2.68 for shipping) Great Price! Especially since the going rate for these lipsticks are about $4.00 each on the actual NYX website. So I pretty much paid less than half price!!

Anyway, back to the Haul…the colors I decided to get were: Fire, Chole, Shiva, Medusa, Hot Cocoa and NYX.


 Fire is almost like a Neon Red color.

Chole is a satiny pinkish color with purple undertones.

Shiva is a fierce hot pink color.

 

Hot Cocoa is a simple matte brown.

Medusa is a dark purple. Plumish…LOL I made up that word!

NYX is a firey orange color.

 

I am really looking forward to using all of these!!

If I have to choose SHIVA and MEDUSA are my FAVS!!!

Keep an eye out for my accompanying video!


Ebay Sellerhttp://stores.ebay.com/PorkDaisy-Shopping-Mall