Relationships & Sex

Realtionship Smarts


Being relationship smart doesn’t mean every relationship is going to work out. At times you will make mistakes and errors in judgment. You may end up doing stuff that is counterproductive to your own relationship success. But when you have a level of awareness about yourself and you interactions, you adapt your behavior and learn from it rather than repeating it and hoping it’ll work out without you getting uncomfortable.

Being smart at anything means that you have to get uncomfortable.”

So what do you need to be Relationship Smart you ask?

  • First and foremost, Self-Love and a reasonable level of self-esteem. Take notice that true unconditional love starts with you. You cannot love or even receive love, if you don’t like and love you.
  • Know your limits. All relationships require boundaries. We ourselves require limits, which in itself help protect us from dangerous situations.
  • Appreciation of the importance of values and your beliefs. Recognize that you need to know who you are and what you need to live genuinely. You also need to understand your beliefs because what we believe is reflected in our actions.
  • Communication, Also, a willingness to recognize that we do not all communicate the same way. You need to be willing to communicate, but also recognize when you need to get you message out differently to make it clearer.
  • Ears and Eyes Open!  Pretty self-explanatory. There is very little we can do in life with our ears and eyes closed. When you do, you sleep walk through life, waking up in bad situations.
  • Be willing to get out rather than engage in relationship insanity. Actions speak louder than word but you must not rely on others to change your happiness and be willing to adapt and apply ourselves.
  • The ability to emotionally connect (the ultimate intimacy) combined with empathy.   Recognize that real intimacy and real connections come with opening ourselves up emotionally, not withholding ourselves and that we also need to place ourselves in others shoes, but without getting lost in them to trying to wear them.
  • Accept that conflict will come up. This unrealistic avoidance of conflict is just that UNREALISTIC. NO is not a word you are not allowed to use. Avoiding conflict just compromises yourself and your values
  • A reasonable level of trust both in yourself and in others. You need a baseline of trust and you use signals learned from listening and watching to increase or decrease and make an assessment of the situation.
  • Respect for others but also for yourself. Understand that if you don’t respect yourself you will invite disrespect. But in remembering the importance of respect you will accept people as they are and respect their differences, even if it signals the end of the relationship.

These can actually be learned quickly. You can change yourself and your experiences. Any questions…put them in the comment box below or use the “contact me” page.

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