How should a woman act when she makes more than her significant other w/o making him feel like less of a man? Now, most people would say, well, just don’t tell him how much you make. Which would be quick easy and to the point…But what if you already past that stage…Sometimes you don’t need to tell someone how much you make for them to figure out that you a little more well off than them…
There’s nothing wrong with bringing home more money than you man. These days women are become more and more successful, if not more successful than men.
The problem is that I always seem to come across with this is, that I always help them when they need it, but I can never bring myself to ask them for help if I need it or if I do ask them (or when I don’t) they can’t or won’t do for me. 9 times out of 10 they aren’t going to have it and if they do have it then it’ll affect them later or maybe they are just selfish.
Is it just wrong for a woman to help her man at all…I mean if my man needs a $100 or something, and I have it why not give it to him? But at the same time if I give it to him will he will always expect me to have it. Will it become a trend? How often is too often to ask your significant other for help?
I had someone in my past make a comment to me the, they said, “You’re never going to let me help you.” Now I don’t know how I should’ve taken that…Like, it’s not that I don’t want or need their help, but when it’s all said and done…you’re not able to help even if you really wanted to. And quite frankly I just know when I ask for help it’s for something big and I just know it’s too much.
Which I can understand and that is fine, but is me not asking them belittling them or is me asking and him saying no, going to make him feel bad that he can’t help….it’s a sticky situation.
I don’t want to come off to strong and too independent because I know man likes to feel needed to some extent, but if u can’t help me, u can’t help right???
It’s interesting to me that men say the love an independent woman. But if you act like you don’t need them, it’s a turn off. I guess there is such a thing called being TOO INDEPENDENT.
As a woman you don’t want to push a man away by him feeling less than you or like I don’t need him but also and you don’t want to lower your standards when it comes to your wants and/or needs…
There has to be some safe ground, where both parties are happy.
Now the easy answer would be keeping it 50/50. But let’s think about this, the money you make, the more money you spend…It’ll never be 50/50. Let’s say a woman can afford some Mr. Chou’s and you guy can only afford TGI Friday’s…should you lower your standards and go to Friday’s and bite the bullet. Now personally I love Friday’s. (Jack Daniel’s sauce is to die for), but on occasion I love dressing up and going to a nice restaurant that is out of the ordinary. I quite frankly I wouldn’t mind paying for my partner, however I don’t want to feel like I am giving more than I am receiving. Granted a genuine person doesn’t give just to receive, but I mean really, there are some expectations when it comes to a relationship…There’s always going to be someone doing and giving more if you’re in that situation.
It’s all about compromise. Sometimes it’ll be him taking you out, sometimes you’ll be taking him out…but really if you’re in a real 50/50 situation, neither you nor the other person will even realize that you’re giving or getting more. Now if you realize that you’re giving more (which is usually because the other person is never giving and always receiving), you’re probably being used PERIOD. My advice if you make more, don’t change up your routine because you’re dealing with someone who makes less. To me if a man sees his woman doing well, it’ll encourage him to do even better. If you see him not changing or trying to grow himself, it may be time s to have a conversation. You don’t want to feel used or unappreciated in any relationship, so you need to find some common ground, even if that means setting some ground rules about your expenses. Hopefully no one’s situation ever gets to that point of setting rules, but if it does you can’t be afraid to put you foot down, because believe me, it’ll only make you unhappy.