Relationships & Sex

The Fuck Buddy…


The Fuck Buddy…

People always say there’s always that one person you can call when you’re horny, and they will always be there to deliver (if they are available), no matter how long you go without talking to this person…

My definition of a fuck buddy: A person whose personal life you know absolutely nothing about, but instead, you only know them on a sexual level. You don’t go on dates, you don’t talk on the phone for hours asking about their personal lives and you don’t ever see them as a type of person you could ever be in a relationship with. They are just someone who you have amazing sex with. You both understand that it’s only sex and nothing more. Bottom Line: Sex w/ No Strings attached!

Now to be honest, I am totally on the slow bus when it comes to this…I’ve can honestly say that I’ve never had an official fuck buddy. I’m not sure if that is a good or bad thing. For me, I just take sex too serious to just give my sex to someone who I don’t really give too shits about. Like can’t I just enjoy good sex with someone I care about, and maybe even love? However, as I get older, I’ve come to realize no one takes sex as serious anymore. People can now have sex w/ absolutely no emotional connection of feelings towards the other person and they expect the person on the other end to accept that.

Sometimes I wonder, have I had a fuck buddy just didn’t know I was? Like let’s say I’m talking to someone, but no official title, but we have sex, would that be considered a fuck buddy, to me I say no. I mean this is a person I’m going out on dates with, someone who’s company I enjoy whether we are having sex w/ them or not. I don’t just call them for sex, I can call them to hang out, ask for advice, tell them about my day, etc. There’s an emotional connection at least from my end. But there’s the dilemma…I am emotional connected to them, and they aren’t emotionally connected to me. Am I that person on the other end that is catching feelings??  Or did I just subsequently end up in Friends with Benefit situation. (Side Bar: Please don’t confuse Fuck Buddy with Friends with Benefits.  A Fuck Buddy is a friend with benefit w/o the friendship. But that’s a whole other topic, so let’s not go there. J).

To those who have had Fuck Buddies, do you guys have a conversation about what it is and what it isn’t, or is it something that just happen???

You want my opinion? Before a Fuck Buddy relationship is established there needs to be a discussion. There needs to be an agreement between two people. Boundaries must be set. You can’t just “turn” someone into a Fuck Buddy. As Cliché as this may sound, but honest is the best policy. If you just be honest with each other about what you want and don’t want it can only help the situation. At least if someone catches feelings, they’ll have no one to blame but themselves. If you stick to those boundaries, it could work.  The only way a Fuck Buddy Relationship can work is if the two parties genuinely aren’t looking for a relationship and are honest about not wanting that. I guess when someone starts catching feelings is because you over step your boundaries at some point and now you can’t go back…So stick to the boundaries if you want to make a Fuck Buddy relationship work & BE HONEST. Even if you see yourself getting caught up, be honest about that and then it’s probably time you move on. Relationships like this can last a pretty long time, for as long as both parties want it to, which is scary.

If more and more people are embracing these kinds of relationships, what’s to hold for the future of meaningful relationships? Are we just settling?

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