30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 18


Today’s Topic/Question: Do you feel like you’re doing what you were born to do??

Day 18!!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

Do I feel like I am doing what I was born to do? I feel so attacked.

So I think I was born to be a creative. Even though I am doing things that showcase that, I know I am not doing it to the capacity that I should and want to.

I always tell myself, I am constantly striving to to build and grow that side to make a a full-time thing…so to answer the question…NO…LOL

But I’m working on it…

What were you born to do…are you doing it?

Day 18 Down!!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 17


Today’s Topic/Question: What are seven things that make me happy?

Day 17!!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

SORRY I’VE BEEN MIA, BUT THE END OF THE WEEK BECAME CRAZY!!! BUT I AM HERE AND I AM MOTIVATED TO GETTING THE LAST 5 DAYS OUT TODAY!

  1. My daughter for obvious reasons…LOL That’s my girl!! Literally my heartbeat 💓
  2. Filming YouTube videos, I know weird…I feel like it makes me happy cause I am able to be super creative.
  3. Doing My Makeup. Kinda same reason as above…plus it’s just relating.
  4. A Clean House/Space…Literally I am OCD! You can eat off my floors…LOL I hate coming home to a dirty house, and I hate waking up to a dirty house…
  5. Getting a Good Morning Text for the person I want.
  6. My Direct Deposit Hitting! *insert happy dance here*
  7. A 3-Day+ Weekend

I am super basic I know. Simple Things make me happy…I have alot more, but I stuck to the task at hand and sure some of those things will come up later posts.

What things make you happy?

DAY 17 DOWN!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 16


Today’s Topic/Question: What are you thankful for?

Day 16!!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

So obviously I missed posted yesterday, but don’t worry I’ll be posting twice today to catch up. Yesterday was super long and super busy at work, then had a long nail appointment after work, Yall now how new sets go! LOL I was soo beat! So yea SORRY! But let’s hop into this topic.

First and foremost, I would say my obviously my daughter!! She is like such a blessing in my life. She’s taught me patience and what honestly the closet thing to true love I will probably every feel. I can only hope I take of her so that she is ends up being decent human being in this world…LOL

Secondly, My MOMMA!! LISTEN!! I can do a whole post about her alone. She is my rock! Literally! She has save me from falling sooo many times….she’s picked me up sooo many times when I actually fell flat on my face. Not to mention she is has taken on keeping my daughter until next year. A much needed break!! THANK YOU!

Lastly is my friends! Shoot that could be a whole other post in itself. They annoy the shit outta and are there for me at the same time! LMAO!! Doe that make sense…To me it does and to them it does as well! HAHA! They are my actually one of my life lines, and unknowingly talked me off the edge, I can’t even express how much I love them and quite frankly need them. As much as I like my peace and quiet, every now and again it’s nice to have them around.

What are you guys Thankful for? Comment down below, so things/people you are Thankful for!

Day 16 Down!

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30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 15


Today’s Topic/Question: Brain DUMP!

Day 15!!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

For Those who don’t know what a brain dump is, here a quick Definition: “A brain dump is simply the act of dumping all the contents of your mind onto paper as one might dump the contents of a purse onto a table. You” are spilling out stressors, your nagging thoughts, your pesky annoyances, things to do, etc.

Halfway through this 30-day challenge, I feel like a brain dump is in order!! LOL After thinking about and writing about things you haven’t thought about in a while or in detail…it might have brought on some other feelings, ideas, etc. So figured today would be a perfect day to do some brain dumping…depending on the tone of this brain dump (angry, sad, reflective) might I also add a suggestion, plan a song/album that you usually play when you are in that mood. My tone is a little mad/irritated/annoyed…So just so you guys know I am playing the The Notorious K.I.M. Album!! Specifically the song Suck My D*** LMAO! Just so yall know where this is headed. Obviously I am not going to use names…

All I ask for is communication! If you are no longer able to do what we were doing, say that. A simple, “Hey, I can’t do this right now, fall back.” WORKS! Yes it hurts but at one point I was living my life without you and was doing just fine…So it’s not that deep. We ALL have things going on. So I understand, but the NO COMMUNICATION, NOT Responding…I can’t tolerate. Yes so there’s that. Men really have to get this macho macho thing out of their head and actually learn to vocally and effectively communicate. Just like y’all can’t read our minds, we can’t read y’alls either.

I had someone tell me Men can’t deal with women’s emotions when they are on there period…I also had that same man tell me, that I act like a dude…So you don’t like when I act like a dude, but don’t like when I am actually emotional (as women are)…SOOOOO…where exactly on the scale do you want me…cuz….OH OK! Makes no sense to me.

Another thing that’s been annoying men who think ALL women are dying to be MRS. ANYONE!! Sorry I am not desperate to just anyone’s wife. I’m good. I want someone who I WANT…and someone who WANTS ME as much I want them. Like I CAN’T settle for anything less. I love the feeling of someone sweating me and vice versa and neither one of cares the other is doing so. So yea, I guess a lot of people are built like that anymore and everyone wants everyone to chase (Male or Female) but at some point SOMEONE gonna have to let up.

Ok business wise, I REALLY need to focus on my Shop and YT Channel..I think we sometimes get so wrap up in our jobs…we forget our dreams…And I really can’t get wrapped up in thinking THIS IS IT! Cuz it ain’t Bro..Like I just can’t!! I I hate it HERE!! Literally. I actually can’t stand my “job” Yes I helps pay the bills, but I’ve never disliked a job like this ever! So yea, Reanell You need to focus and get back on the ball. Be more consistent and do the things you need to get out of this, because this is ridiculous! Like seriously, you have no idea how much I leave this place annoyed AF almost every damn day when I leave…My meditation sessions are getting longer in the evenings because it is taking me longer to calm down. I am not built for this kind live of clocking and clocking out…Like this is GHETTO!!

What are you Brain Dumping today?

Day 15 Down!

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30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 14


Water draining at sink background. Water flowing drain in washbasin

Today’s Topic/Question: What drains my energy?

Day 14!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

What drains my energy is shoot life! HAHA! But I guess if I need to be specific, my main job. Which is weird because it not extraneous, but It is mentally exhausting. Listening to patients talk about there health issues ALLL DAY is exhausting.

Not to mentioned the fact that this job is a WASTE OF MY TALENTS!! That’s exhausting in itself. I feel like I’ve actually been emotionally drained recently. Being an empathI tend to feel all the feels of people around me. Wether they are close to me or not, but more when they are close to me. There’s a lot going on with the people I care about, so I am feeling it all and they don’t even know it. And they don’t need to know that I am feeling it. This is usually when I go back to one of my self care routines, usually the trip to the park and crying it out is the help to that.

I also find it draining to not be able to express MY feelings, which is kinda odd because it’s also draining when I express my feelings….It’s the the release is draining and the holding it in is draining. I think the holding it part is draining because I am thinking about the person I probably need to express it to and thinking about how they are going to react to it. The release is draining for obvious reasons, because I tend to keep things to myself longer than I should…

Lastly WRITING THIS IS DRAINING…LOL Just kidding! What drains your evergy?

Day 14 Down!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 13


Today’s Topic/Question: Create a Meme And Begin with, “One day I’ll meet a guy/girl. And Ultimately, he’s/she’s going to find out,…and End With…”He’s/She’s STILL Going to Love Me.”

Day 13!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

This one is kinda fun! Confused about what to do…He’s mine:

One Day I’ll Meet a guy. And Ultimately, he’s going to find out, how I eat, how I smell after coming from the gym. How my face looks under makeup. How much I love watching Youtube videos over regular TV. How much I love building things and being creative. How I love Seafood. How I can be clingy at times. How Rita’s makes me really happy. How cranky I get when that time of the month is coming, and how horny I am once it’s here. How I think every picture I take I think you can see my “lazy” eye. He’ll know I need then to take a candid photo here and there for me to post on my Instagram. He’ll understand sometimes I might not be able to be on the phone all day because I am focused on work, and need to focus. How I sometimes like my alone time, even if we are in the same space. How I sometimes just like to be in their presence & not need to talk. How I wake up every morning and meditate and zone out even the sound of their voice. He’s going to know EVERYTHING about me. And you know what? He’s STILL going to love me.

Finally Product:

If your BOLD ENOUGH…Now post it in your stories on Instagram and/or Facebook!

I’m not bold enough YET!! But when I am I will…

Day 13 Down!!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 12


Today’s Topic/Question: My Top favorite places to go for me time!

Day 12!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

So Ima be honest this ai cop out post! LOL Don’t get me wrong, it was on the list…but I only picked this one for today, because I know I know I am going to have a busy day and this was going to be a busy day, and I didn’t want to get too deep, honestly. (just ot be transparent, tomorrow might be a busy day as well…LOL).

My top favorite places to go:

  1. Washington Square Park (NYC) This became one of favorites a few years ago when I did my maternity shoot. I just Loved the environment and the landmarks. I nice place to pop a squat and read, listen to music, people watch, etc/. It’s also pretty close to Blue Ribbon.
  2. Which brings me to location # 2 Blue Ribbon. If you don’t what Blue Ribbon is, it’s pretty much a dope chicken spot in NY. I Love IT! I mean what else can I say. I should just but NY just say in general. I love going to the NYC in general, Manhattan, Brooklyn, Harlem to be specific.
  3. St. Croix, for obvious reason. My mom is from there, and I have a ton of family there. Plus it’s a beautiful, chill island plus the amount of beaches ad waterfronts I can sit at and just write…is endless!
  4. I like going to ANY park! Literally either walk around it, or pick a spot and sit in my car. My recent favorites have been Echo Lake Park, or Warnaico Park.

I know y’all were expecting maybe some destination type places, but for me when I am I am looking either for peace and Me Time, I want places that bring me calmness and happiness…..Maybe next time I’ll do a post on places I WANT to travel to….What do you guys think. What are some of you favorite place to go?

Day 12 Down!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 11


Today’s Topic/Question: What would I tell my future self?

Day 11!!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

Maaaannnnnn….OK. So I guess it depends on where I am in life in the future…LOL But we gonna be positive and assume I am where I wanna be or on the right track to get there. I guess the first thing I would say is YOU DESERVE THIS!! I think sometimes we get to place of peace or happiness we start questioning, do I deserve this? Wether it’s a form of Love or Success, or whatever. YES!! I do! This is actually something hard for me to understand at times. I would also say, keeping going! To me we are always growing & learning. If you stop either one of those you become stagnant. And that is not something I want. Since I crave adventure and excitement I know this is something I will still be doing and seeking. I mean I may be a little more tamed but…still need to level of mystery going.

Also I would say, don’t forget to reach back. Bring others (that you trust) with you. I always want to keep in mind that YES, I want a level of success, but I also want that for my friends and the people that I love. And if I get there before them I have the means to help them in there goal (not financially…let’s not get carried away here), but maybe now I have access to a world they didn’t, I can now reach back and bring them with me and expose them to maybe things they needed but didn’t know how to reach them. SHARE the knowledge is what I am saying.

I don’t know what else I would say. Stay Strong. Stay Focused. Remember Take time for yourself when you need it.

That’s honestly all I can think of at the moment…What are somethings you’d tell your future self? Leave them down below so I can read them and get some more ideas!!

Day Eleven Down!!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 10


Today’s Topic/Question: How do you take care of yourself?

Day 10!!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

This question is so fitting for me today. Cause the universe is really messing with my emotions. I know about the Mercury Retro, but this Mars Retro (especially in Aries)!!! FIX IT!!

But there are some rituals I do for some self care. One I did last night was go for a drive…And if you know me, you know I HATE driving. Sometimes I drive to a destination, usually a park, if not maybe just drive around until I get annoyed that I behind the wheel…LOL A park is the best destination for me though (or a water front). LOL. Sometimes I just sit and think, which usually ends in me crying, or Marco Polo-ing friends for support.

Also Another thing I like doing, is self grooming…That can be from anything, like doing my hair, doing my makeup (This is probably #1), also maybe waxing my legs, or doing my Brazilian. Matter fact need to wax my legs soon!!! HA!

Another thing I like to do is work out. I feel like that’s a given though for a lot of us. I know a lot of people work out to relieve stress, but I work out because I don’t want a big stomach!! The stress reliever part is just an added bonus! LOL So i’ll take it.

Lastly, Meditation is also a BIG part of my life!! Lighting my incense and/or candles and just sitting down and clearing my mind completely. When it comes to meditation I can completely zone out, and not hear ANY noise. Like, I have to set an obnoxious alarm to snap me out of it.

Also, I could obviously say journaling, but I think that pretty obvious!

I think when I think of taking care of myself, I think of doing things to either release emotions or Keep you mind from wondering. It’s gets very difficult to do self care, because life can get in the way and you get distracted. But you gotta take those moments. Even if it is for 30 mins a day or every other day. Shoot sometimes you need it multiple times a day…TAKE IT! Some days, weeks, months will be worse than others.

What are some ways you guys take care of yourselves?

Day Ten DOWN!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 9


Today’s Topic/Question: What do I need less of in my life?

Day Nine!!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

SOOOOOO…this might come off like a little bit of a rant…but I mean a journal is a release right?? What I need less of in my life? Let’s start with this, Inconsistency. It’s the Inconsistent men for me! I feel like we end up in these dating scenes and there’s always this whoever I want doesn’t want me and whoever wants me I don’t want them…LOL Or if we want each other the timing is just off! Like what in the world? Are we just made to settle for whoever loves us more than we love them? Is that a relationship? I guess I can’t settle into that mentality, which at times make me feel like am I just meant to be in the single world life. IDK, I felt like I met someone who is EVERYTHING I was looking for, then life happened to them, and I guess what we had going on got push to the back burner. Which his life circumstance, is definitely UNDERSTANDABLE. But I was kinda looking forward to having someone I can talk to again, hang out with again, someone can I call when I was lonely, someone I can cuddle with, someone when I am sick I can call to be there for me…you know…those types of things. But I’ll be patient for now, but at the end of the day, we all have our needs/wants. And I don’t mean sexually, I just me a sense of intimacy. But I understand his situation completely, so he has little rope.

I also need less stress. But I don’t really know how to avoid that! I feel like right now it’ll stressful to some capacity. I mean more Money wold help with my stress which I am working on soo, stay tuned.

The funny thing is I don’t keep a lot of what I don’t need in my life. If I feel like a something is draining, I usually just cut it out of my life. Like I can say negativity, drama, etc. But I cut those out usually as soon as it becomes too much. The only reason these 2 are on my list, is because they are either something I can’t control, or something I can understand. Again everything gets a LITTLE rope but we all have our boiling points.

I really wanna talk about what I need more of…LOL Maybe I’ll save that for tomorrow or a future post…LOL

What do you need less of in your life?

Day Nine Down!!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 8


Today’s Topic/Question: What are your weaknesses?

Day Eight!!

I’m going to hop right into this one. No disclaimer needed since it is just a list…I’m late on my post, but I’m here!!!

Disclaimer: DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

My weaknesses!! Muscles & Cute Smiles!!! HAHA! Just Joking, kinda! I have a lot! I’m just going to try and stick to like two cause we can be here all day.

The first one that comes to mind is I feel like I am weak for people who need healing…does that make sense? I feel like the empath in me always attracts people who have there shit together, then something happens in their life that may be traumatic/dramatic and I feel the need to stay and see them through it. Not saying that is a totally bad thing, but it usually end with them exiting my life, making me then feel used until they are “better.” I am cautious of who I do it to now, but it’s like those thing happen AFTER I’ve already built some kind of connection to them. So now I feel a sense of obligation.

The second one I can think if is my ability to SAVE! Jesus fix it!! LOL Like I feel like I am not able to EVER save for anything!! Like when I buy things it’s not because I saved for it, it’s because I had the money at the time I thought about it…Like I wish I was just able to have a savings in general. Like for emergencies, I watch all these videos about saving and I am like ALL last one of my dollars is accounted for and being used for something…So HOW? People always say live below your means, shit I mean unless I am living in my car or walking to work IDK how much lower I can go…LOL This can’t be real life! Like I said in one of my previously posts. I a would love to reach a place of financial independence, but I just haven’t figured out the right formula for MY situation.

What are your weaknesses?

Day Eight Down!!!

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30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 7


Today’s Topic/Question: Describe yourself in 10 words.

Day Seven!!

I’m going to hop right into this one. No disclaimer needed since it is just a list a fa quickie…I’m late on my post, but I’m here!!!

  1. CREATIVE
  2. UNIQUE
  3. EMPATHETIC
  4. CARING
  5. BEAUTIFUL
  6. KIND
  7. OUTGOING
  8. MOODY
  9. RESOURCEFUL
  10. LOVING

How would you describe yourself in 10 words…Ima be honest thinking of 10 was hard AF!

Day 7 Down!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 6


Today’s Topic/Question: Something you need to tell someone negatively affecting your life

Day Six!!!

DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. It’s RAW here ok! Thank you.

I won’t obviously disclose the name of this person. But I think I would just tell them, that open communication is the best policy with me…When you are open with me I am more understanding. When you become distant with me because of things going on in your life, some times it’s ok, to just go, “hey, I can’t really work on what we were working on because I have a lot on my mind right now and I can’t prioritize you.” So you give a reason and I can understand and move on and redirect my attention…But being ALL in one day, the all out the next, is a HUGE issue for me and give me a bad taste in my mouth.

But I guess I take on some of that blame, because I honestly know better. I guess the ultimate issue isn’t with you, it’s with myself. Trying to figure out when to let go and when to give people time & space…I am an all or nothing type of person, so I just learn how to decipher when to do what & I don’t think I’ve figured that out yet.

Who’s affecting you negatively and what would you say to them?

Day 6 Down!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 5


Today’s Topic/Question: What is one thing you want to approve about yourself? Why?

Day Five!!!

You know the deal!! DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. I am keeping everything RAW here! Thank you!

To start, I would like to improve on my financial independence. I’m not awful with money. But I feel like I can always be better at managing my money better. My goal is to have less financial stress. I feel like everytime I reach a certain level of some sort of financial comfort, something in my life just goes in disarray, so my goal is the become financially prepared for the “disarray.”

I like talking to different people & just listening how not only how they spend money, also how they pay bills, how they save, investments they are in. It gives me in sight and just teaches me. Especially when listening to someone who is in a different working class as me. It is quite inspiring and motivates me.

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 4


Today’s Topic/Question: My Top 5 Favorite Quotes

Day Four!!!

Before we start, you know the deal!! DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. I am keeping everything RAW here! Ok, Thank you! But for this is shouldn’t be that hard.

To be transparent I only picked this topic for today because I am kind of short on time and I know this is one i’ll be able to produce quickly.

My top 5 quotes are a mixture of Love & Life quotes. Some stem from Movies/TV/Media, some are from just people I know personally, some are just ones came up with along this walk of life.

  • “BE YOU!!” Always something I live by. Be Yourself, people will Love you for who you are, and if not, they aren’t meant to be in your life. And THAT TOO is OK. Who you are is enough for the right people.
  • “I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” ~ Carrie, Sex in the City. I mean this in a nut shell is Me. Like I can’t say it better myself. If you can do a day without communicating w/ me…then you can go the rest of your life. And you are not for me.
  • “Be the Rainbow is someone else’s cloud.” ~ Maya Angelou. Sometimes I feel like this quote is a blessing to that person and can drain you if you are doing for for wrong people. Usually, being there for someone for me means just listening sometimes and that’s all the need. Not allowing them to dwell on the negative at least while they are with you (or talking to you). It’s nice to have someone who you can talk to that’ll bring your day up. But also be able to recognize some people will take advantage of that and use you. So you also have to be cautious who you do those things for. Cause it will drain you and leave you feeling hurt.
  • “The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.” IDK where I heard this from or who to credit…LOL but I posted this on my Instagram the other day (@TotalDivaRea). But I think this quote is self explanatory. If you find you are happier in a relationship, find someone (who is FOR YOU) and be in that. If you find your are happiest being alone, then don’t feel forced to be in a commitment, because that what society says you should be doing. Happiness is determined by how YOU feel not how other’s think you should feel. Remember that, EVERYTHING IS NOT FOR EVERYONE, and there’s not one way map for life. What’s fulfilling for one, may not be fulfilling for you.
  • “Never stop learning, because life never stops teaching.”Um, yea. Just when you think you know it all, life will hit you like a ton of bricks and just like that your studying life again.

I can go on and on with quotes I love, but those are the one that came to kind at the moment because of what’s going in my life right now I think.

What are some of your favorite quotes? List them in the comments below!

Day FOUR DOWN!!

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30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 3


Today’s Topic/Question: How am I feeling right now?

Day Three!!!

Before we start though, Disclaimer ALERT!! DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. I am keeping everything RAW here! Ok, Thank you!

I’m going to hop right in on this one because as a Cancer…My moods can change in 2.5seconds, so hopefully by the end of this blog it’ll be the same! This will actually probably be a quick one b/c it’s a simple question, so simple answer.

Since I writing this in the AM I actually woke up in a good mood. But I also have a lot on my mind. Which I guess if I can put an actual emotion to what I feel…I would say anxious & motivated. I spent most of my evening editing a video for my channel. So waking up I felt super motivated to continue focusing on my businesses. Anxious, well because I guess I’m looking forward to what the future may hold me me and the people in my life. Relationships & Friendships. I Also woke this morning, feeling like I need to make an adjustment to what time I go to bed and to put my DND on a little earlier.

So yea that’s how I feel today (as of 9:30AM)…Motivated & Anxious!

How are you guys feeling RIGHT NOW??

DAY THREE DOWN!!!!

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30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 2


Today’s Topic/Question: What am I afraid of?

Day two!!!

So today’s question is something I’ve been asked a few times since I’ve started dating. Not something I’ve actually thought about on my own prior to someone asking me.

Now I before I begin, I feel like I need to do this disclaimer every post, DO NOT comment on any grammar issues during these 30 days…I don’t grammar check when I write in my physical journal and I won’t do it here. I am keeping everything RAW here! Ok, Thank you!

The first time someone asked me, I said failure. And that still holds True. I am afraid of failure. Now failure holds different to everyone. For me it means starting something and not finishing it or it not reaching the success I feel I/it deserves. That includes failures in different walks of life. For me mainly in my business, not reaching the goal of Self-Employment/Entrepreneurship. That is a big part of my hustle! YouTube, being a Makeup Artist & running my Online Store (AND ALL of those are linked BTW, just click on them! Shameless Plug!! 🙂 IDC…LOL). There are a bunch of other passions I have, i.e., photography, (pretty much I am a creative). ONE OF THESE NEED TO happen!! What’s your plan B you ask? I feel like a lot of people ask entrepreneurs this. Now don’t get me wrong I HAVE a FT job, but I make sure I keep the end goal at the forefront of my mind. Sometimes I get caught up in the Job that I have to wheel myself back in and say to myself, “HEY HEY, this is JUST to finance my DREAM…Re-FOCUS!” I actually talk to a guy who is also an entrepreneur but has a really good FT job. It seems like sometimes we are in the same boat at different times. We get comfortable making the money we make at our jobs, and almost let our end goals fall to the background. So I know there is work I need to do and I am committed to that process. So my Plan B, is to continue focusing on my Plan A!

I feel like as soon as you feel like you failed…them BOOM!!! You’ve made it! So that’s the energy I try to keep and speak into existence.

Another thing I fear & I didn’t think about until some said it to me and them I realized, HEY! I fear that too. And that is my child dying before me. And that is something I don’t even want to think about, but in this world & being Black in this world…Well you guys know how that goes…I not going to sit here and dwell on this fear b/c…I just can’t even begin to imagine…BUT, It is something to fear and worry about. As much as we don’t want to as parents.

What Do you fear??

Day Two Down!!!!

30-Day Blog Challange

30 Day Self-Reflection Online Journal Challenge – Day 1


Today’s Topic/Question: What do I need more of in my life?

So going into day one, I am going to write this as if I would my actual private journal. I want this to be as raw as possible. So don’t grammar check me in the comments section! I said I was going to be as open as I can (while still maintaining some sense of privacy, depending on the context of the question). But overall, I am an open book and lucky for you guys it helps that I am single so I really don’t have to worry about protecting a “partner’s” privacy as well.

But today’s question is something I’ve actually thought about over the past 2-3 years in general, which ultimately once I understood what exactly I needed, the answer to this question aided me in ending my previous relationship.

What do I need more in life?

Love, Money, Support, Spontaneity!! (And in that order)

Simple answer right? Oh y’all wanted an explanation? LOL I got you…

Love, So let me be more specific. I have Love in my life, friends, family & you guys! But what I mean by love I mean a romantic love. Now, I have been enjoying being single, but I’ll never sit here and say I don’t enjoy relationships and who I am in them. I also understand if/when that happens for me again, It’ll be the last time I’ll commit. I got one more good relationship in me…After that…Who knows. But I think I’ve reached a place of Self-Love, Self-Worth and spent the last 2 years Self-Reflecting, where I know I am ready for that when the opportunity presence itself again. We are always working on ourselves and meeting new people can show you more of what you want out of life, so I understand that I may not just FALL right into another relationship, but I am open to learning and growing with someone.

Money, I mean does this really need an explanation? More Money TO ME means, one less stressor. And that’s on that. Granted having more money will bring on a different stressor, but I think I’ve out grown the latter, like ok, I get it I know what it like to live paycheck to paycheck, what’s next?

Support, I mean now I have a GREAT support system right now. Thank GOODNESS for my mother! My Nia is spending the next year in St. Croix and that is amazing!! And I am beyond thankful & grateful!! She getting the RED JELLO for real (inside joke amongst my parents!) Support with my business someone who understands what I need to get done and who will push me and encourage me, obviously I can encourage myself, and my friends as well, but it’s nothing like having that one person in your corner cheering you on. Also If I think long term or into the near future, Nia will be back…LOL and as a single mother, sometimes things get so crazy you will definitely lose track of taking care of you. It gets tough and it’s nothing like having that person. I didn’t go through postpartum depression, but I feel like I may have gone through depression in general when she was around 2, being overwhelmed and unhappy. So having an intact support system is not only something I want more of, but I think it is necessary for my mental health in the long run.

Spontaneity, THIS!!! This is just something I crave!! It not something I get often! AT ALL. I think it is just something I need. Not all the time, but just a lot more of. Wether is a random last minute date or a random weekend getaway…JUST LOVE a good surprise and spontaneous behavior at times, especially since I am baby free so it’s more realistic right now!

Now at the end of the day, happiness is not by seeking more, but to learn to enjoy less, so that when you do get more, you appreciate it more. So I’ve learned to just enjoy what I have (right now), but keeping in mind what there is something greater. What is for me will be for me and when it’s my time I’ll just make sure I stay ready so I can accept that!! I am sure my opinion of that statement may change and what I want will change, but for now…Not sure If I answered this correctly, but those are the things that came to mine.

What can you think of that you want more out of life?

DAY ONE DOWN!!!!

Beauty/Makeup

Cruelty-Free Cosmetics!! NU Evolution Cosmetics


I got the opportunity to try out a line that is new to me, called NU Evolution Cosmetics. Of course I had to come through and share with you guys my thoughts about this line. BUT before we jump into the nitty gritty of this line, I wanted to quickly go through the uniqueness of what this line is about.

This line is Cruelty-free, Vegan-Friendly & Gluten free brand. Their products contains Natural and Organic ingredients. So if you are conscience of the ingredients you like to use in your makeup or just a makeup junkie in general this is definitely a line you might want to try out. “For the Beauty Junkie WITHOUT the Junk” Defiantly check out THIS section of there site to see all the ingredient that don’t use, which include, Talc, Parabens, Dimethicone, etc. It also includes some details of why these ingredients are not ideal for cosmetics as it pertains to our health. So definitely read up on that, I found it super informative.
Ok so know that I’ve gotten the basics out of the way, let me dive into the products I received.
I received 2 Eye Shadows, Onyx & Versailles. Onyx is a Matte Black, it does have some shimmer specks in the pot, but it applies matte. Versailles is more of a Champagne shade, again it does have some shimmer specs, it does apply with a little sheen, but somewhere between a matte & an satin. They applied very smooth and were very pigmented. All of the eye shadows are individual and retail for $20 each.
flushed.jpg
I also received one of their Pressed Blushes, the shade is called Flushed. I would describe this shade as a muted pink. The shade on this is really nice, however I did find on my complexion I didn’t show up as well on me. I think if you are on the caramel side or fairer this shade who show up great. But no biggie, this can defiantly go in my make up kit to use on a client. The blushes are also sold individually, and retail for $28.
Diva
Next up is the Lipstick, The shade I received was Diva, a fuchsia shade. I REALLY liked this lipstick. It is super hydrating and moisturizing. To be honest, I am not usually a fan of “natural based” lipsticks because I find that it end up lacking the the pigment that I like, and surprisingly this lipstick was highly pigmented. These lipsticks retail for $30.
Color Corrector
Lastly, is the Base products!! Camouflage Cream, Foundation & the pressed powder. I am always here for a great foundation and base. So I was really excited about trying these out for sure. The Camouflage Cream shade I received is Disguise. Which is definitely on more of the peachy corrector type of shade. This cream is really thick and pigmented and a little bit goes a long way. Now this type of corrector is a little too light for me but, I don’t know if you guys remember, but I talked about on L.A. Girl pro concealer I thought was a little to dark so when I received this I felt it was actually perfect to mix with my L.A. Girl pro orange corrector and it worked out really well. This products retails for $32.
104
Next is probably my favorite item OVERALL, which is the Complete Cover Foundation. My PERFECT match is the shade 104. When I say PERFECT match, I mean PERFECT MATCH!!!! The shade is spot on, I didn’t need to do anything to “make it work,” IT JUST WORKED. The coverage is definitely build-able, I would say a Medium to Full Coverage. Not cakey at all. I would say the finish is definitely skin like, but my skin was stayed matte (which I think related to the next product I am going to talk about). This foundation was amazing!! Definitely somewhere the top of my list as far as, favorite foundations go. I couldn’t think of one thing I didn’t like about this foundation. Love the packaging for sure, it is plastic (though I prefer glass bottles), but it does have the airless pump with is a plus. This foundation retails for $47, & IS WORTH EVERY PENNY!!! Just take my money!!! LOL
204
Lastly is the Pressed Powder Foundation. This is my 2nd favorite item that I received. I used this powder to set my foundation. These two together are like PB&J! Match made! The shade that I used in the powder is 204. The powder is also great to just apply after a spot conceal and wear it as your foundation. It gives medium to full coverage, so also build-able. Also love the packaging on this as well, the compact is super thin and elegant. Light enough for travel or to just trow in your purse and go. The powder retails for $45.
Overall, I was really impressed with the quality of this line. The fact that there products are able to perform just as well as the brands the use the harsh chemicals, is really impressive. One thing I would like to see is this brand grow, as far as shade ranges go. It’s a decent start but can definitely tons of room for improvement. I would’ve definitely loved to try out a loose powders because y’all know I love a good loose powder,  but they did not have a shade for me. Which is of course discouraging, but they did have the basics I needed and I can appreciate that for sure. But if you are darker than me, you definitely won’t be able to find a foundation shade. But I also have to keep in mind that this is a Boutique Makeup Line, so it is on a waaaayyy smaller scale. But I highly recommend to  check out this line.
What items would you thinking about trying out? Leave it down in the comments section.
Check out the video below, showing ALL of the items in action!!
Fashion

Lingerie for Hips & Curves??


Oh yes!! You read that title right!

After having my daughter I wanted to find some sexy pieces but I gained weight in a lot of areas (for the good) *wink* So going to the local Victoria Secret…It honestly just wasn’t cutting it.

So after some research I found a site that literally offers Lingerie for sizes 10-28, Hips and Curves!!

red babydoll

 

They have tons of cute & sexy items. I know I fall between the lower end of the sizes, BUT my biggest issues is the bust area. Having a small waist and them a size G bust makes it SUPER difficult to find lingerie that fits me. And this site also over some larger cup sizes!

bra

So definitely go check out the site! let me know in the comments which pice is your favorite!

black